Having a child out of wedlock and then splitting with your partner can be a difficult thing to go through. You worry that your child's father may not play that fatherly role. My worry was just that and sadly enough that's exactly what happened. There was intermittent visitation and a verbal child support payment plan, but nothing set up through the court.
Unfortunately, my daughter had to endure her two parents arguing to try and reach an agreement and eventually not having a father in her life at all. He started seeing her less and less until one day poof, he was gone. Child support was gone as well. When I decided to get married again, my daughter's father had a hard time with that and decided to go on his own path, never calling or seeing our daughter again.
As I see years later, he did an honorable thing for her. It has been much healthier mentally in the long haul. That's why I didn't push anything through the courts. Why would I want to subject my child to such instability? She has a father in her life who has been there through the worst of times.
I always dreaded the day when I'd have to tell her about her biological father. It went better than expected. She knows that she has a happy family now and doesn't think twice about the one who walked out of her life. She remembered a person in her life that all of a sudden disappeared on her, but doesn't remember him as her father. She now has closure and does not ask who that guy was any longer.
I know where he is and he knows where I am, but for the time being we both agree that he can see her when the time is right. I commend him for letting her have a better life. Sometimes walking out is harder than staying. But in our case, it has been a blessing in disguise.
Jennifer here, letting you know that you can ask any legal question online for free using Avvo. It's a great service that I am happy to recommend, and I don't even get paid for telling you this! You will see this box on EVERY page of the Real-Divorce site because that's how important it is!