Keep it Civil

If there is one piece of advice that I can give to anyone going through a divorce or anyone who has gone through a divorce but still has to communicate with their ex due to issues involving mutual children, it would be to keep it civil.

Nothing frustrates me more than to see people create or engage in drama with their ex. What purpose does that serve? It may make you feel temporary satisfaction that you are making their life miserable, but it is also keeping you in a state of misery and, worse yet, it is keeping you attached to your ex. Detach. Let it go and do not participate in the drama.

This is particularly true when it comes to what you say to your children or within earshot of your children, about their other parent. I don't care what your ex has done. It is never okay, under any circumstances to badmouth your ex to your children. They do not deserve to bear the burden of your adult problems. It is hard enough for children to survive divorce as relatively unscathed as possible. They do not need you adding to the difficulty. Leave your children out of your squabbles with your ex.

I went through a divorce and, believe me, it was difficult. There were times when I had to bite my tongue so much I thought it would bleed, but in the end it was the best thing I could do for myself and for my child. We now have a very peaceful life and I don't have the burden of regret for anything that I said in anger or anything done out of spite.

There is a saying…"Don't do anything permanently stupid based on temporary emotions."

You no longer have to live with your ex, but you do have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. Be a person that you are proud of.

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