Only you really know what has transpired throughout your marriage. Some people completely realize that they and their spouse have been unhappy, but still "didn't see it coming." Others feel blindsided. Others can't believe it took that long for their spouse to want to leave the relationship.
The true reasons why one spouses leave another have to do with a person's belief system though. Some will blame the spouse, some will blame themselves. The most honest answer, is that both spouses probably made life uncomfortable for the other, and there is a lot of unsaid things that create much misery. Un-communication, miscommunication, anger, resentment, being passive aggressive, oh the list goes on...
As a woman, I can say that I am more expressive than my husband, however, he knows when to shut up better than I do.
The grounds for divorce is definitely different than the reason for a divorce. One spouse may leave because he or she feels stifled in the marriage, but after living apart for one year or a set amount of time, files for a no-fault divorce. IN this situation, there is not much of a need to blame or find fault in the spouse.
In some marriages where a spouse has big psychological issues and other people are involved, like children, I think it's important to get the grounds right! Sometimes, a spouse wishes to file using cheating or addiction as the grounds, so that he/she will be able to have the children full time or more time than would be typically allotted.
Either way, most spouses who file for divorce do end up filing for a no-fault divorce. It's just easier, less expensive, and less stressful than hiring attorneys for both spouses. If you are wondering what your grounds could or should be, please consider the stress that you will create by filing each way, and if that stress can be alleviated through a no-fault divorce instead.
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