5 years later, he still doesn't pay.

by Bernadette

My ex and I have been divorced for 5 years. He has yet to pay the unreimbursed medical, his monthly business waiver, as well as money he owes me from living off of credit cards. Each time I go to court, the judge agrees, yet my ex still does not pay. How do I get him to pay?

Real-Divorce Comments:
Hi, Bernadette,
Thank you for posting an important question that many of the readers here will benefit from. Getting a non-custodial parent (I will say "HE" but know that it could be a "SHE" in some cases) to pay what is court ordered can be a daunting task, as you know with repeated attempts to persuade judges to "do something" to get your ex to pay.

You may want to see my attempt to post a similar question on AVVO at:


Using a QDRO or a Tax Return are the best ways I know of to get a court to "force" a father or ex husband to pay his debts, for alimony, child support, or other expenses/debts. However, not every man has money to give (about 10%). There are some men that want to beat the system (another small percentage). But most men really do pay their child support and expenses.

If you happen to fall into the category of having an ex who
is not paying "on purpose", this other answer from AVVO, and a short video to go along with it might help:


An attorney says that a judge can set a specific amount that must be paid for the father to avoid jail. The not paying "on purpose" part is called contempt, and you can file a motion to enforce a child support order and specify the contempt part.

I believe that bringing up the IRS/tax return would be a great option. Also, it might make sense to file a motion to claim the children every year on your taxes, since the children most likely spend MORE time with Mom than Dad, why should Dads get the 50-50 split? If Mom has more time, then the parents should file their divorces with this in the paperwork: Mom has kids 25 days a month, and dad has them 5. So, that means Mom should get to claim them on her taxes 5 out of every 6 years also.

These are just my thoughts. Avvo is a terrific online resource for anyone who needs family law or divorce law information. You can post any question using Avvo on our state pages or on the attorney page. Hope it helps, and that others will respond to your question with what has worked for them.

Best of luck to you.

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