When To Get A Divorce
When to get a divorce is a tricky question, and sometimes the answer isn't always based on the divorcee's needs, but rather, the needs of other family members. Why is that?
January is divorce month, because many people make their New Year's resolution to end a marriage that hasn't been working, and start the divorce process straight away!
Others wait (if they have children) until closer to the end of the school year, like in March, April, or May, to begin their divorce, IF they know it will be an uncontested divorce, rather than a contested divorce. An uncontested divorce takes less time in the court system, and since the parties previously agreed on the terms, it runs more smoothly through the family court system.
Some wait until they have enough time over the summer to think about when to get a divorce, or after the family vacation when school is out.
And others choose to do it later in the year. I've heard many people tell me that their spouse "requested" a divorce immediately after the "holidays" because they wanted to have a last hurrah, or see if the holidays would make them change their minds, but when the holiday season settled down, between Christmas and New Years, that is when the divorce process began.
Which brings us to Divorce Month--January! If you are wondering when to get a divorce, January could be the month for you:
January Is "Divorce Month", But, Why Do People Divorce?
Okay, I already mentioned that I've heard that people oftentimes get divorced, or at least start filing for divorce in January. And, when to get a divorce will vary a lot, although certainly can happen at any time. But attorneys refer to January as "divorce month" because of the higher numbers of people looking for divorce beginning then.
But, why do people divorce at all? Here in the US, the divorce statistics are pretty dreadful, with about half of marriages ending in divorce. Why do people divorce, when the emotional and financial lives of both adult parties will be so affected, and so will the lives of any of their children?
How To Get Divorced
In one sense, getting divorced is easy. You fill out the divorce papers or get an online divorce service to help you. You file the divorce forms with your county courthouse. The courthouse, or you, serve your spouse the papers. You wait a period of time, around a month, for your spouse to respond. If he/she responds, then you get a package from the court saying that you will have a hearing on a set date. If he/she does not respond, then things take a little longer.
Either way, you will have a divorce hearing.
If your divorce is contested, then the process takes a longer time period, costs much more money, and leaves you feeling pretty drained. However, for some, it is well worth it. You can have a contested divorce and use a lawyer, or you can have a contested divorce and do it "PRO SE", meaning that you are representing yourself; this is also called a Do It Yourself Divorce.
For most people, though, uncontested divorce is the less expensive, less draining, and more flexible option. It CAN leave divorcees with a sense of empowerment to do their divorce "PRO SE" and do the paperwork all by themselves, come to agreements with their spouse beforehand, and just go to court for the "official" divorce decree.
More to come soon!
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