by Keep Good Notes
(This response came in as a comment to a previous question--about getting child support.)
If you have limited income, look into getting legal aid. You would not have to pay, and if you did it would be a tiny amount. They can help with things like child support and custody issues.
If you can't work, look into getting SSI. If you get SSI your ex can't touch it for child support. SSI is disability for people who have not worked enough credits to get regular disability, but it is means tested. That means they look at all your resources and income.
Start keeping a very detailed notebook. Anytime you see her in town or without the baby, make a note of it, time date etc, and what she was doing. If you can find out who is actually keeping the baby write that down as well.
Keep detailed records of every single conversation you have with her. No matter how short. Even if you think it would not help, write down everything the two of you say.
If you have children and fear for your child's safety, contact child protective services. They will look into the situation, and if they feel he is not being cared for properly they will then most more than likely place him with you. It sounds like neither of you have court ordered custody. So beat her to the punch, and go after it first.
Yes, keeping good notes is a good idea. If the father is just absent, he still has to pay child support, and more if the child is placed with mom for sole custody.
However, most divorces have shared parenting. If you know of a true problem with your ex, then certainly explain that to the court. But if not, then you will most likely need to accept that your ex will do things differently, and that is not always bad.
Best of luck!
Jennifer here, letting you know that you can ask any legal question online for free using Avvo. It's a great service that I am happy to recommend, and I don't even get paid for telling you this! You will see this box on EVERY page of the Real-Divorce site because that's how important it is!